The Journey Is Just Beginning

I just checked us all in for our flights to China. That was the VERY. LAST. LITTLE. DETAIL. needed before we leave the house at 3 am tomorrow morning. As the boys are downstairs playing, I am sitting here as an emotional basket case! Tonight will be the very last night in our house as this "perfect" little foursome. For the past ten years, we've been this nice even number. We fit nicely into a booth in a restaurant and divide nicely into a ride at Kings Island. :) But after this trip, all of that changes. We will become a party of 5! Sure, lot's of families do it, but this will be new to all of us, especially Cheyenne. 

I have so many questions (and honestly fears) as we prepare for this long journey across the world. Questions like: How will she react to meeting us and becoming part of our family? Sure, she will be scared and grieving initially but when she's scared, will she let me hold/comfort her the way a mother should? Will she let Kevin comfort her? What if she attaches more to Kevin than to me - how will I feel about that? What if she attaches more to me - how will Kevin handle that? How will our boys adjust to having a little girl around? How well will they understand when we "coddle" her more than we do them? How will I hold back tears and hurt the first (probably of many) time she screams "You're not my mother!" to me? How will I find the right words of comfort to give her when she asks me why her "real" mother didn't want her? Or when she asks Will I help her find her birth parents? 

If you had told me a year ago that we'd be leaving in March of 17 to fly halfway around the world to get a beautiful little girl and make her part of our family forever, I would have told you how crazy you are! Sure, Kevin and I had talked about the possibility for well over a year, but I remember last April, sitting in Jamaica and telling Kevin that we needed to end the discussion because I was perfectly happy and content with our little foursome. I was comfortable...but we didn't drop it, and then we saw HER face. HER face is what started us on this incredible journey 9 months ago...the journey that isn't ending tomorrow, but is just beginning!

This is the very first picture we ever saw of her!