Here we sit in the waiting room of Children's Hospital while our daughter is having the first of multiple brain surgeries. I thought I was doing okay with everything until the car ride here...that's when the lump that's been living in the back of my throat grew about four sizes. Everything suddenly seemed so scary.
When the anesthesia nurse came in, she told us they would not be able to have us stay with her while they put her under due to it being a sterile environment. This was the first time since we've had Cheyenne that they weren't able to allow us to stay with her until they put her to sleep. They also said they will need to wake her in the OR to ensure everything is okay. That will be the first time she will awaken after any sedation or procedure without us being with her. That news made the lump grow another size or two.
The doctor (and the assisting physician) came in to talk to us. They said the procedure could take any where between 2.5 hour and 4 hours. Since they are inserting the electrodes into both sides of the brain and they are using a robot to assist, there are many possible delays/technical difficulties they may need to work through. Then once all the electrodes are placed, they have to take her for a CT scan to ensure they didn't accidentally puncture any vessels....yep the lump just grew another two sizes.
Once they took her back, Kevin and I went to the Cafe to eat breakfast but neither one of us really has any appetite. We walked around the gift shop for a few minutes and bought Cheyenne the last remaining Paw Patrol pup she doesn't own. (We buy her a new one with each procedure requiring sedation. So if you know the show, you can do the math.)
So now we are sitting in the waiting room trying to busy our minds with anything other than the unspoken fear we are both feeling.
So instead of letting the fear win, I've decided to list all of the things I'm thankful for regarding this day:
1) I'm thankful we were able to keep Cheyenne healthy enough to proceed. Three out of four of our kids have been sick over the past two weeks, and she was the odd one out...
2) I'm thankful that Kevin and I are both healthy and therefore able to both be here together.
3) I'm thankful the surgeon and staff are healthy and therefore able to perform the procedure.
4) I'm thankful for the upbeat music playing on my drive in this morning. It was the only thing keeping me from crying.
5) I'm thankful for the flexibility of both our employers, especially mine. My boss and coworkers have been great in supporting me through all of this, even when it means they have to carry heavier loads.
6) I'm thankful that we live very close to the #2 Children's hospital in the world (any honestly, they should be #1). It gives us peace of mind that we likely wouldn't have elsewhere.
7) Oddly, I'm also thankful for the brand new iPhone watch I just bought yesterday. Twice in less than two hours, it has sent me a notification reminding me to breathe and telling me how a good deep breath can help to reduce stress...maybe someone can tell me if this is a "normal" message or if it's really smart enough to know how stressed I am this morning. :)
8) I'm thankful for our other kids being so "self-sufficient" that we are able to spend this time getting Cheyenne the care she needs without having to overly worry about them as well.
9) I'm thankful this week has fallen in our nanny's winter break from school and how awesome she is with helping our family and entertaining the other kids.
10) Most importantly, I'm thankful for the huge amount of outpouring love and support we're receiving from friends, family and coworkers. Whether it's an encouraging text, offering to bring food to the kids at home, or simply an ear listen, it means so much.
Even though they took her from us about 7:35 this morning, they just now (10:35) gave us an update that she went to sleep fine and they just got the robot in place...which means even though we've been waiting for three hours, they are just starting the actual procedure.
Lord, please be with the surgeon and staff as they proceed. Please guide his hands and help ensure proper placement. Please be with Cheyenne and keep her safe. Amen
I will try to write another update later this afternoon or evening. In the meantime, thank you all so much for keeping our girl in your thoughts and prayers.
When the anesthesia nurse came in, she told us they would not be able to have us stay with her while they put her under due to it being a sterile environment. This was the first time since we've had Cheyenne that they weren't able to allow us to stay with her until they put her to sleep. They also said they will need to wake her in the OR to ensure everything is okay. That will be the first time she will awaken after any sedation or procedure without us being with her. That news made the lump grow another size or two.
The doctor (and the assisting physician) came in to talk to us. They said the procedure could take any where between 2.5 hour and 4 hours. Since they are inserting the electrodes into both sides of the brain and they are using a robot to assist, there are many possible delays/technical difficulties they may need to work through. Then once all the electrodes are placed, they have to take her for a CT scan to ensure they didn't accidentally puncture any vessels....yep the lump just grew another two sizes.
Once they took her back, Kevin and I went to the Cafe to eat breakfast but neither one of us really has any appetite. We walked around the gift shop for a few minutes and bought Cheyenne the last remaining Paw Patrol pup she doesn't own. (We buy her a new one with each procedure requiring sedation. So if you know the show, you can do the math.)
So now we are sitting in the waiting room trying to busy our minds with anything other than the unspoken fear we are both feeling.
So instead of letting the fear win, I've decided to list all of the things I'm thankful for regarding this day:
1) I'm thankful we were able to keep Cheyenne healthy enough to proceed. Three out of four of our kids have been sick over the past two weeks, and she was the odd one out...
2) I'm thankful that Kevin and I are both healthy and therefore able to both be here together.
3) I'm thankful the surgeon and staff are healthy and therefore able to perform the procedure.
4) I'm thankful for the upbeat music playing on my drive in this morning. It was the only thing keeping me from crying.
5) I'm thankful for the flexibility of both our employers, especially mine. My boss and coworkers have been great in supporting me through all of this, even when it means they have to carry heavier loads.
6) I'm thankful that we live very close to the #2 Children's hospital in the world (any honestly, they should be #1). It gives us peace of mind that we likely wouldn't have elsewhere.
7) Oddly, I'm also thankful for the brand new iPhone watch I just bought yesterday. Twice in less than two hours, it has sent me a notification reminding me to breathe and telling me how a good deep breath can help to reduce stress...maybe someone can tell me if this is a "normal" message or if it's really smart enough to know how stressed I am this morning. :)
8) I'm thankful for our other kids being so "self-sufficient" that we are able to spend this time getting Cheyenne the care she needs without having to overly worry about them as well.
9) I'm thankful this week has fallen in our nanny's winter break from school and how awesome she is with helping our family and entertaining the other kids.
10) Most importantly, I'm thankful for the huge amount of outpouring love and support we're receiving from friends, family and coworkers. Whether it's an encouraging text, offering to bring food to the kids at home, or simply an ear listen, it means so much.
Even though they took her from us about 7:35 this morning, they just now (10:35) gave us an update that she went to sleep fine and they just got the robot in place...which means even though we've been waiting for three hours, they are just starting the actual procedure.
Lord, please be with the surgeon and staff as they proceed. Please guide his hands and help ensure proper placement. Please be with Cheyenne and keep her safe. Amen
I will try to write another update later this afternoon or evening. In the meantime, thank you all so much for keeping our girl in your thoughts and prayers.
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