Six Months Already!

Can you believe today marks 6 MONTHS since we walked into that Civil Affairs building halfway around the world and opened our arms and our hearts to our beautiful new daughter?

When we brought Cheyenne home, "Hello" and "Thank you" were about the only English words she knew. Of course Kevin taught himself how to speak Mandarin so he could easily communicate with her. Me on the other hand - not so much! I remember the first week or two, any time I tried to help her with something she wanted to do, she would shout out what sounded like obscenities at me. Eventually I figured out that she was telling me she wanted to do it. So I taught her to calmly say, "I can do it." After just a reminder or two, she caught on.

Originally, I was planning to take three or four weeks off of work to stay home with her. But surprisingly, since she saw the boys going to school and back, she kept asking when she could go to school. While we didn't really see the point in sending her for just a few weeks, we couldn't come up with a good reason not to allow her to go. So we registered her for before and after school daycare and placed her into the First Grade. Even though she still didn't understand much English, she did really well. Her teacher told us that she followed directions well and when the other kiddos were writing in their journals, she would "write" (AKA draw/scribble) in her notebook too.

When we started the adoption process, we knew it would only be a matter of time before we moved into a better and more diverse school district. I'm pretty sure Cheyenne was the ONLY Asian in our school. We weren't planning to move for at least a year but we had friends who were selling their house in Mason, which is the 11th school district in the Nation! Their Asian population is around 22% and their academic curriculum is outstanding.  Our friends gave us a tour of their house and we knew it would be perfect for our family. We wanted to be in before the new school year started so we quickly worked on selling our house. We were fortunate enough to sell our house in time to move in two weeks before the school year began. The boys were a little sad to leave their small, Christian school, but overall they were agreeable and excited to move into the "big house" in a real cul de sac street.

Our new house is beautiful and has room enough for everyone to spread out. We even have an extra bedroom in case our family continues to grow...  ;-)

There is a house next door with three boys all close in age to our boys. They've already become fast friends. The schools and the staff have been great and you can tell they truly care about their students.

While most of it has been great, we've had some several challenges along the way too. Cheyenne was given virtually a clean bill of heath from the International Adoption Clinic (IAC). They actually removed both diagnoses China had in her file. They also feel confident that she was NOT sexually abused in the orphanage (which was a huge relief for us). Unfortunately, we have learned that she was frequently physically abused. The specific details are her story to tell, but we are working hard to get her to trust that we will never hit or harm her in any way.

As if Cheyenne's trauma wasn't enough to deal with, there was a point this summer where I was sure I wasn't going to win the Mother of the Year Award. Nathan had been telling me for weeks (maybe even months) that his toe was hurting. When I finally saw it, it was beat red, swollen and warm to the touch. I knew he had a serious infected ingrown toenail. When I took him to see the foot doctor, she had to do an X-ray to determine if the infection was deep enough to go into the bone. It looked as if it might be. She removed the ingrown nail and prescribed some serious antibiotics. She told me if it wasn't healed in three weeks, we'd have to do an MRI and potentially do surgery in order to get it cured. I felt SO bad! I remember holding it together long enough to drive home but going upstairs and crying as soon as we got there. I was so focused on one child, I felt as if I had neglected another. Kevin did his best to convince me that Nathan has two parents and it was just as much his "fault" as it was mine. But as his mother I felt like it's my job to be the nurturer. Fortunately, the toe healed up pretty well and the MRI and surgery was not needed.

It's been so neat watching Casey grow into his new role of being the big brother. Both boys love Cheyenne. Nathan gets easily annoyed with her but still is very helpful and protective over her. Casey is closer in age, so naturally he is more willing to play with her...although she hasn't convinced him to play Barbies with her - yet. :)

As I reflect back on the past six months, it is almost overwhelming. Cheyenne is doing so great adjusting to life here with us. Now, she speaks only English and while her grammar is still developing, even strangers can understand her. She's doing great in second grade and her teacher even sent me a video via text of her reading her first little sight word book to her whole class. In some ways if you didn't know any better, you would think she's been here in the US and with us her whole life. Strangers are always amazed when they learn she's only been part of our family for a few short months. I've even had people tell me that she looks "just like" me and could be my "real daughter" (to which I usually say "She is my real daughter").

She is so incredibly affectionate. She is still dealing with the prior trauma but she has already come leaps and bounds from where she started. I can't imagine ever going through everything she's already had to experience in her short 8 years of life. She is so brave. She is so happy. So far she seems to be completely blocking out all of China. We think this is her way of dealing with the previous abuse/trauma she went through. Even when we show her pictures of herself in China and say something like "Where were you in this picture?" she will always say "'Merica". When we try to get her to tell us about her orphanage or experiences she had there (good or bad) she won't discuss it. There was one time we got her to tell us that she slept on the third floor and ate on the second. But when we tried to get the conversation to go any deeper than that, she completely shut down and stopped talking. I'm sure in time she will feel more comfortable and safe telling us about it. When she's ready to talk, we'll be ready to listen and to dry tears if necessary. But until then we will keep showing her what it means to be a family and make sure she knows every day how loved she is and how lucky we are to have her in our family.

Here's a look at the last six months.

First Easter

First trip to Kings Island

1 month

First day of school (1st grade)

First family photo as a family of 5

Two months (just had her ears pierced)

Big brother Casey reading her a bedtime story.

New House

Sleeping on big brother Nathan

Father's Day

3 months

Cheyenne does NOT like olives!

Fourth of July

Seeing the city skyline

Four months

First Bengals game

First day in the new school

Five months

Six Months!

Four Weeks Home

It's hard to believe that we've been home for about a month already.

Our Journey Home and Homecoming

According to our itinerary, we were scheduled to leave Guangzhou, China on Sunday, April 9th at 10:00am. We had to take a domestic flight from Guangzhou to Beijing. Domestic flights in China are very strict about the amount and weight of carry-on luggage, so we had to check everything except our backpacks. We expected this to be a challenge, so we arrived with plenty of time. Fortunately, the luggage checking went smoothly. However, when I looked at our tickets to find the gate number, I noticed the flight departure time was actually 9:00am and we needed to hustle to our gate. We made it just in time to board.

Boarding a domestic flight in China was a new experience. You hand the agent your boarding pass. She scans it and hands it back to you along with a card the size of a business card and points to a nearby ramp that is leading outside. Once you are outside, you load onto a bus filled with everyone going on the flight. The bus drives over to the airplane and you climb a staircase into the airplane where another agent takes the business card you were handed and verifies you are on the correct flight. I'm sure to them, this process makes sense, but to us it was very confusing and chaotic.

As far as we knew, this was going to be Cheyenne's first time in an airplane. Kevin used Mandarin to tell Cheyenne what would happen and she understood. We were prepared for her to be scared, but she seemed as if she's been doing it her whole life.

Once in Beijing, we had about 4 hour layover. However, we had to get our checked bags and then go through the International Security there. Oh. My. Goodness - that was NOT fun. First, the security agents did NOT like the fact that our boys' Passports only had their middle initial listed, but their boarding passes had their full names. We had to wait for a supervisor to verify that we were legit. Then, they didn't like our pocket chargers and tried to confiscate them. Next, I had to go to the ticketing counter to get a boarding pass for Cheyenne because for some dumb reason, they couldn't get hers to print in Guangzhou. The lady at the ticket counter was very confused and upset by the fact that we had checked five bags in Guangzhou but were not checking them to Detroit. I tried to explain to her that we only had a very short time to go through customs and immigration in Detroit and did not want to waste time getting our checked luggage and wanted to carry on all luggage. Eventually, she (and her supervisor) understood and let us get on our way. By time we got to our gate, we only had about an hour to spare before boarding the long flight to Detroit.

We are so incredibly blessed how well all three of our kids did on that long flight. Fourteen hours is a very long time to be sitting in one small area. Thank God for individual movie players in the seat backs. Cheyenne was a trooper. She got a little upset when Kevin and I forced her to lay down across our laps to take a nap, but she slept well and was in much better spirits upon waking.

We originally only had an hour and 45 minutes in Detroit before taking our final leg to Cincinnati. We were extremely nervous about missing our connection because we knew we had to go through customs and we had special immigration paperwork for Cheyenne. The paperwork has to be reviewed and approved by an immigration officer and once that is completed, she officially becomes a US Citizen! Fortunately, the pilot made good time and got us there about 30 minutes ahead of schedule.  We made it through customs and immigration with time to spare.

We landed in CVG around 9:30pm Sunday night. Keep in mind, this is 9:30 Monday morning in China which means we had essentially been up for well over 24 hours by this point (minus one or two cat naps on the flight). My mother was scheduled to pick us up at the airport. She was supposedly waiting for us in the Cell Lot. Instead, my mom, all three of my brothers, my sister-in-laws and my nephews were waiting for us in the welcoming room. They all had signs saying welcome home and welcome Cheyenne. It was SO great to see familiar faces. I was exhausted and emotional and immediately started crying when I saw them. Cheyenne went to each one of them and collected their signs and gave each one a hug. When she noticed that I was crying, she had me pick her up so that she could wipe away my tears. :)

Chimelong Paradise (AKA Cheyenne's First Amusement Park), April 7, 2017

Today we had our last outing in China. We went to a full-sized amusement park called Chimelong Paradise. We wanted to see how Cheyenne handled being at a place like that before we purchase season passes to Kings Island. She did great! All five of us had a fantastic time. Also, she got over her fear of roller coasters!

We decided to "rip the band-aid off" right away and went to the only real roller coaster she was tall enough to ride first. She was a little nervous and wanted to ride with Daddy (probably because I'm pretty certain she's convinced I slammed her head into the car railing the time she got hurt). Either way she enjoyed it. Kevin and I then took turns riding smaller rides with her while the other one went off and rode a big-kid roller coaster with Nathan and Casey.

By the end of the day, we rode almost everything in the park that wasn't for very little kids. Cheyenne loved one particular ride so much that she and the boys rode it three times. Each time she laughed and giggled like it was the first time. It was so cute and sweet seeing her with the boys and seeing how great they both are with her. :)

The park closed at 6:00 and we were to meet our driver back at the front of the park where we started. Since we had to go there anyway, we decided that I would take Cheyenne back on the roller coaster we rode first while Kevin took our boys to the big kid coaster. This time, she wasn't nervous at all and had no problem getting on the coaster with me. She laughed and giggled and thoroughly enjoyed herself...so much so that we rode it again. There was nobody in line so we didn't even have to get off the ride. That time was even better and I'm pretty certain she now knows that I'm not evil! :)

Overall the day was great. Tomorrow is our last full day and night before leaving China. I will spend the majority of the day packing our bags and ensuring we are ready to go bright and early Sunday morning. Our flight leaves Guangzhou at 10:00 am, so our guide wants to pick us up at 7:00am.

China has been overall better than I expected, but we are so ready to go home. Please pray for smooth and safe travels and that Cheyenne handles the long flights well.

Safari Park, Thursday, April 6, 2017

On Thursday we went with another family to see Safari Park. It is like a zoo on steroids! Instead of one or two of each animal, there were like ten or twelve. Safari Park is also home to the only Panda triplets in the WORLD.

We started out by taking a tram ride that showed us many animals...and several of them were fighting. We saw kangaroos boxing each other, bears wrestling each other and lions roaring at each other. I thought there was a rule of thumb that you should have one make lion in a pack, but apparently those rules don't apply in China because the lion pack had at least four males.

They have a Jurassic trail that has animatronic dinosaurs. We heard that parts of the trail were scary, but none of our kids were phased by it and Cheyenne seemed bored.

Nathan and Casey got to feed the tigers. They were given a small pan of raw meat pieces to throw over the wall. Of course, in typical Nathan fashion, he threw his piece right in the middle of the three white tigers and started a brawl. :) Casey felt bad for the sole bengal tiger layign off by himself, so he threw a piece over to him. It did get him up and walking down to the food, which created a nice photo op.

We loved seeing the pandas. The pathway to their area was filled with pictures of them as newborns and as they grew. They were SOO tiny and all white when they were born. They looked more like newborn puppies than pandas. When we can to them, two of them were laying together and the third was walking towards them. He plopped on one of them and started tugging at its ear like it wanted to play. It was really cute.

By this time, it was time to meet our driver to head back to the hotel. Poor Cheyenne was so sleepy, she fell asleep on daddy's lap on the way back.

Once back to the hotel, we enjoyed some quiet time before taking Cheyenne up to the "pool" (the hot tub). Then we went to dinner and I gave Chey a bath.

Today we are heading to the full-sized Amusement Park. We are planning to "force" Cheyenne back into a roller coaster in hopes that she wll get over her new fear caused by the ride on Tuesday. We are convinced that she will enjoy it since she was so happy with the last one - right up until she hit her head. This wil;l be our last outing in Guangzhou. Tomorrow we will spend the day at our hotel and packing our suitcases for the long awaited trip home!

The Past Few Days, April 3, 4 and 5th, 2017

I haven't blogged the past few days because there hasn't been too much going on to write about. I'll catch you up on what we've done the past few days, starting with the most important:

Today, Kevin and I took Cheyenne to the U.S. Consulate. This is the final formal piece of journey. This is basically like finalizing the adoption on the U.S. side. We had to take an oath that all information we have given is honest and still accurate. Then we had to have an interview with a U.S. Department of State agent and had him review all of our paperwork. Of course we passed with flying colors! Now, they will issue Cheyenne her immigration Visa into the United States. With this process behind us, it means she will become a full-fledged American citizen as soon as she steps foot on American soil. They told us during the interview that this particular document (the US Visa) is the "hardest document in the world to obtain". As he said that, I was thinking, "No S*%t, we've been working night and day for the past 9+ months to get it!" :)

After the consulate appointment, we had a little down time in our hotel room but then all decided we were sick of the four walls. We hailed a cab and went to the Teemall - this is like a mall on steroids! It is a total of 8 floors. We just planned to walk around and kill some time, but we stumbled across a full size movie theater and it was perfect timing to see the new Beauty and the Beast in 3D. We debated whether or not Cheyenne would handle it but the boys were BEGGING to watch it and we haven't done much FOR them this trip so we decided we would try it. Kevin graciously agreed to be the one to leave with Cheyenne if she got bored or overwhelmed...but she did great! For the most part she was very focused. We then grabbed a quick dinner and came back to the hotel.

Yesterday we were  supposed to have a free day. Well actually, originally we were scheduled to go with another family to a Buddist temple and a Folk Arts Museum, but we decided we've had about as much culture as we can stand, so we opted not to go. Instead, much like today, we decided to try exploring on our own. We hailed a taxi to the Guangzhou City Zoo. It was a holiday here, so the place was PACKED, but we still managed to have a good time. The first thing we did was watch a cool marine life show with seals and dolphins. Then we walked around and saw the other animals. The zoo has a small "Amusement Park" as part of it. The size was similar to the kiddieland part of Kings Island. On Friday, we are planning to take the kids to a real,   full-sized Amuzement Park. We thought we would try a few rides at the zoo to make sure Cheyenne like to ride before we spent the money on the real park. Overall it went ok, but one of the ride we rode was a small roller coaster. She loved it and giggled the whole time - until we took a turn too fast and she hit the side of her face on the side of the car. when we got off the ride it was a little red and she told us it hurt. Thanks to Google Translator, we managed to get a baggie of ice to put on it for the 10 seconds that she would allow it to be there. We thought we may be the first family to show up at the US Consulate with a child with a black eye - but fortunately, this morning you could hardly tell it was there. She was definately hesitant to ride anything else after that happened, so hopefully she isn't scared too long and will be willing to try again on Friday. Kevin, the boys and I are all coaster junkies and really hope we can make her one too. :)

Monday we went with another family and our guide to a place call White Cloud Mountain. We rode a cable car to the top of the mountain. Cheyenne thought that was coolest thing ever and laughed the whole time. The view from the top was a panoramic view of the city of Guangzhou and it was beautiful. Once we were back at the bottom of the bottom of the mountain, we went into this beautiful garden area. There were multiple fountains, statues and more species of flowers than I've ever seen. After spending some time in the garden, it was time to head back to the hotel. Nathan did homework while Casey, Kevin, Cheyenne and I went to the pool. Cheyenne loves swimming and as soon as we pull out her bathing suit, she starts jumping and dancing because she is so excited. We attempted to swim in the pool but the watch was still frigid, so again we "swam" in the hot tub.

Overall, everything is still going very well for us. Cheyenne is doing great and is adorable even when she is being honery. The boys (including Kevin) and I are starting to miss home and spent a good portion of the day today talking about what we miss most, mainly foods, and how we can't wait to get home. The next few days will be busy, so hopefully that helps the last few days pass quickly. I pointed out to Kevin that it's been just under two weeks and we are home sick and craving many foods we miss - but at least we get to go home. We need to keep in mind that once we've been home a  few weeks, Cheyenne will most likely start to miss the "home" and comfort foods/items that she has always known. We will need to be mindful of that and try to give her what we can as much as possible. Fortunately, we have many great Chinese restaurants near us - and I make a killer Chicken Fried Rice, if I do say so myself!