Fundraising - Be part of her story

International adoption is expensive. Like stupid expensive! Unfortunately, this reality keeps so many amazing couples from taking the steps to adopt. There is a page in our adoption packet that makes me shiver every time I glance at it! Even as I type this and think about the upcoming payments, I am getting anxious! When we first made the decision to adopt, one of the things that we wrestled over was whether or not we would do any fundraising. In a perfect world, we wouldn’t have to. There aren’t many things more humbling than asking other people for money! Honestly, it sucks! It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. The more we have talked about it though, the more we understand that it isn’t about asking people for money, but asking them to be a part of our story. Our daughter’s’ story, in how she got to come home. So, we are so excited about two fundraising opportunities!

The first one is a Puzzle Fundraiser. It works like this: 1. We had a 500-piece puzzle created. 2. We are “selling” edge pieces for $10 and middle pieces for $20. You can choose to buy 1, 2, 3, or 10! There is no limit! 3. To purchase via PayPal, click here or you can email me (backjess@gmail.com) for our address and send a check in the mail. 4. Once you purchase a piece, we will write your name on the back of one of the puzzle piece(s) and send you a picture. 5. Once every single piece has been “sold”, we will put the puzzle together and hang it in a double-sided glass frame for Cheyenne’s room so that she can always look back and be reminded of who had a “piece” of bringing her home!

I can picture us sitting down with her, reading the names to her and explaining that these are all of the wonderful people who loved her before they even knew her. These are the people who brought her home. Isn’t that the cutest?!?! I just love it! I will keep the blog updated with progress on the puzzle and a list of amazing donors. So, our goal with this Puzzle Fundraiser is to sell all 500 pieces which will raise over $9,000!!!! That will take care of our upcoming Airfare, Hotel Accommodations in China, and other travel expenses. How amazing would that be?!?! We’d be honored and humbled to have you be a part of this story.

The second is a Tee Shirt fundraiser. Here's what the Tee Shirt looks like:

There are multiple color options available. You can buy one for yourself (and a friend) all while helping our cause at the same time. We get over 50% of the proceeds for every shirt sold. To buy a shirt simply click here.

Want to help us bring Cheyenne home from China!? Then please help by participating in one (or both) of these fundraisers.. The other amazing thing that you could do to help would be to spread this! Share it with your family and friends. Thank you! We love you! Kevin and Jessica

Merry Christmas

Last night as Kevin was upholding our annual tradition of reading the Nativity story to our boys, I was mixed with emotion. First and foremost I was feeling incredibly blessed. I get to be the wife of a wonderful man and caring father. I also get to be the mother of two sweet and caring boys who know the TRUE meaning of Christmas.

Next my mind wondered to Cheyenne. It was about 10:30pm our time, so that means it was already Christmas morning where she is. I was sad to know that she would not be experiencing the spirit of Christmas the way we had and will continue to have over the next couple of days, with food and laughs but most of all with the unconditional love of a family. Sure, to her, the other kids in the orphanage are probably like family. Also, based on pictures they just sent us, it appears as if they have some of their own ways of celebrating Christmas...but a forever family is much different.

Then, I was hopeful of 2017 and not only Christmas but of all the "firsts" she will have with us.

Now, it's about 1:30pm on Christmas Day. Our boys had a blast opening their gifts and I am taking a break from our busy cooking schedule in order to write this blog. I know that Christmas is over in China and Cheyenne is probably fast asleep. I wonder if she got to make any Christmas wishes.

For me, my Christmas wish for her is that she will stay healthy and warm until we get to bring her home!

DTC, LID and Contact with China!

Sometimes through this adoption process, it seems to our family and friends that we are speaking a different language. While we are learning to speak Mandarin (well Kevin is anyway), we do not intend to confuse our family and friends who like to keep tabs on the progress we're making in our adoption journey. So, I'll try to explain it in real English!

On 11/23/16, we received the perfect Thanksgiving present. We learned that our Dossier was on it's way to China for official review. This is summarized by "DTC". Dossier is just a fancy word for our packet. The packet is our whole life on paper. It contained our home study (see previous blog for all this entails), our employment references, three of our other references, our financial status, medical documents, police checks, abuse registry checks and many photos of our family and daily lives. All of these items had to be notarized by a local notary, certified by the State of Ohio (I'm BFFs with Dave at the State Secretary's office now) and then authenticated (which just means verifying what the state has already certified) by the Chinese consulate in New York City. It was a long drawn out process, so when the packet is complete and FINALLY sent to China, it is the first real milestone, hence the DTC celebration.

The next major milestone is called the LID. Once China receives our Dossier, they log it into their system and begin translating all of it and reviewing all of it. When they log it into their system, this signifies official receipt and they issue you a "Log-in Date" otherwise known as "LID". For us, this date was 11/28/16. In our case, this was a particular important date because we were obligated to get our Dossier logged in by 1/10/17 in order to stay locked in with Cheyenne. If they did not receive our Dossier by 1/10, they would have released her file back into the adoption world for another family to find her.

Now that our Dossier is being translated and reviewed, we are (impatiently) waiting to receive our "LOA" (Letter of Approval). This would be the next MAJOR milestone. The letter of approval means that China has officially blessed our Dossier and has formally approved us to adopt her. We already received a pre-approval when we started the process. I'm hoping that speeds up this process. We are at the mercy of the Chinese government and there is no rhyme or reason as to how long they take to approve Dossiers. Some are approved in a couple of weeks while others take months. I'm praying for an early Christmas present! I believe another reason the LOA is so important is because that's when China will tell her that she is being adopted. This is what I've been told, but today our case worker told us that we can begin emailing their China rep to begin the notification process.

I emailed the China rep right away. He told me that he will buy her a cake and a stuffed animal and deliver to her along with a photo album of all of us. He will then tell her she is being adopted and present her with these items. I've asked him to video record it or at least photograph it but I haven't heard back from him yet.

The wait is excruciating, but today we got a little relief. Not only was I given permission to reach out to their China rep to begin the notification process, but we also received updated measurements and three new photos of her. She is now just over 4 feet tall and weighs about 58 pounds. Here are the pictures they sent:

I love this one with her hair down. This is the first time we've seen her with her hair down. Isn't she beautiful? And check out the little scrape on her knee...I bet she plays hard and will give the boys a run for their money!

For now, we will continue to wait... Please continue to pray for all of us.

National Adoption Month and Election Day

There's no question that we live in the greatest country in the world. We have privileges, rights and laws that provide us many freedoms. For some of us, those rights and freedoms took longer to get to than others. On election day, we are often reminded that blacks and women were not always allowed to have a voice. Fast forward to today and now we have a black President in office and had the opportunity (if you so chose to) vote for a female candidate.

While reading all the Facebook posts about our right to vote and duty to do so, I got to thinking about how lucky we are to have such rights and how unfortunate it is that other countries do not. Don't worry, this is not a blog about politics at all. I'm only saying that in America we have come really far and I feel blessed to have the rights and freedoms that we have.

While thinking about all of this,  my mind of course went to Cheyenne. She is currently waking up in an orphanage in a country where girls are literally thrown away. When Cheyenne comes home with us, she will become a U.S. citizen and will thus be afforded the same rights and privileges that we so often take for granted.

Not only is November election month but it is also National Adoption Awareness month. So I want to take a few minutes to discuss this important topic.

In the Bible, John 14: 18-20 Jesus said, "No, I will not abandon you as orphans - I will come to you."

After close to a year of careful consideration, Kevin and I finally followed this same calling to go to the orphans. We get asked a lot "Why China? Why not here in the U.S?" For me, the only thing I can think of is that I would bet the worst orphanage in American beats the best orphanage in China every day. Also, as the children in American orphanages grow up, while they will still have a difficult road, they will be afforded the rights and privileges we as Americans receive. However, in China, the children who age out of orphanages (at age 14) are not so lucky.

As I tell people about our impending adoption, I often hear people say, "Man I wish we could do that, but we could never afford it." Kevin and I are both hard-working individuals who are smart about our finances, but we are certainly not wealthy by any means. We started out by researching our options. For example, we learned that the government reimburses almost $14,000 worth of adoption expenses. Additionally, our employers will reimburse us over $10,000 combined. Yes, we still have to front the money up front, but that's what savings, grants, and loans are for. Many people have no problem justifying a bank loan of $30,000 for a car they may only drive for ten years or so. But the idea of getting a loan to finance an adoption to bring a child into a FOREVER family is out of reach.

If you have been considering the idea of adoption, I encourage you to research some of these things for yourself. Prayerfully weigh all possibilities. While doing so, consider one of my all time favorite quotes by Forrest E. Witcraft: "One hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove.......but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child"

As a final note, please check out this article which debunks common adoption myths: http://www.nationaladoptionday.org/adoption-resources/

Welcome Andres ("Andy")

Earlier this year, we volunteered to be a host family for our school's cultural ambassador program called Faces of Our Culture. We agreed to host a 14 year old boy from Guatemala for 8 weeks. This decision was made months before our decision to adopt. So at the time, we just thought it would be an awesome experience for the boys and a way to help a young boy learn about our wonderful American culture. We knew the time span would be mid-October through mid-December but at the time that seemed so long away.

Andres (who we've nicknamed "Andy" to give him an American name) came to join our family this past Tuesday. He is such a nice young man and is already a welcome addition to us. He and our boys are playing and acting like they've known each other for years! Nathan says it's like having your best friend living with you! Here is a list of just a few things we have planned while he's here:

Renaissance Festival
Carving Pumpkins with Uncle Chris
Kings Island
Great Wolf Lodge
Celebrating Casey and Andres' birthday
Bengals game
Festival of Lights at the Cincinnati Zoo
Hopefully we can go tubing at Perfect North

I'm sure these next eight weeks will fly by, but the memories we are all forming will last a lifetime and so will the friendships!

Progress and Next Steps

I've never been so excited to check the mail! We just received our letters from the Department of Homeland Security! We have an appointment on 10/26 at 8:00am to be fingerprinted one last time. If all goes well, we will get an approval letter shortly there after and will have everything we need to send on to the Chinese consulate for the next level of approval. Once the Chinese consulate approves everything, our entire life on paper (known as our "Dossier") will be off to China.

Under normal circumstances, the next ten days would drag by. But tomorrow we get to pick up the foreign exchange student we having coming from Guatemala. Andres will be with us for 8 weeks. I'm sure having someone new to spend time with and teach new things to will help the time fly by. Plus, it will give us good practice being a family of 5! :)

Pregnancy - It's a GIRL!

Let's talk about pregnancy for a minute. After all, this is a family blog and pregnancy is how all families begin, right? You might be thinking that not ALL families start that way, because some people adopt. Having given birth and now waist deep in the adoption process, I can tell you, there's a reason they refer to adoption as being "paper pregnant". There are a lot of similarities.

With our biological pregnancies, the clock started when the stick turned blue. In a normal pregnancy, there are three trimesters, spread over 9 months with several milestones along the way.  In our case, we longed to be pregnant (both times), so as soon as it was confirmed by my doctor, I started imagining what he was going to be like, to look like, smell like, etc. I couldn't wait to get him in my hands. We started buying clothes, buying diapers, and preparing a room for him. As each pregnancy progressed, I felt flutters, heard his first heartbeat, and felt his first kick, his first roll over and of course the long awaited birth. Then the fun really started. We got to hold him, smell him and rock him to sleep at night. In between each of those milestones there was A LOT of waiting.

With our adoption, while it started essentially in reverse (we saw her face before doing anything else), it has been very similar. But let's back up to how we got here.

We had been discussing the possibility of adoption for a long time, probably about a year - off and on. Whenever it would come up, we would think about how nice it would be to provide a home to a child in need and then that was countered by how busy our schedule is, especially given my travel schedule at work. Then the tides started to change. I decided to take a step back at work to a position that didn't require so much travel. It was interfering with the time and attention I was giving to our two wonderful sons. Then, once things got back to normal, the subject came up again. This time my work schedule wasn't an issue, so the conversation went further than it ever had before. This led to researching the various types of adoption. A friend told me about her recent experience with her China adoption. It was as if God had this conversation occur at the perfect time. After hearing what the orphans in China go through, I felt a calling to do something. After discussing with Kev, we decided to do some more digging. This led to reviewing waiting child profiles and then it happened! We saw HER face. The moment I saw her, I knew we had to bring her home. We filled out the application and placed her "on hold" (the equivalent of the stick turning blue). Then we started the long paperwork journey. The paperwork process is like the three trimesters of pregnancy because it has three very distinct segments: the home study, the certification and authentication and the travel approval. This is followed by the travel to China and a two week stay that makes her our legal child - the long awaited "birth".

At this point, we are halfway through the second "trimester". We are waiting on the approval of the US Government. Once we have that, we can complete the certification process and move onto the authentication process. Once that is done, all the paperwork will be sent to China for the final approval. Upon their review, they will issue us what's called a Travel Approval letter. That begins the third and final trimester.

Just like in a biological pregnancy, this "paper pregnancy" has had several milestones. The pre-approval letter from China, which locked her in with us was the equivalent to the doctor confirming the pregnancy. Then we had to gather everything for our home study...and I mean EVERYTHING. The home study basically puts your whole life on paper in a 12 - 15 page summary. We all four had to get physicals, we had to get new certified copies of all birth certificates and of our marriage license. We had to complete a form detailing every aspect of our financial worth. We had to get at least 10 references including our sons' teachers and principal. We had to get a background check from the county, state and FBI as well as a child abuse check for every state we've both lived in since we were 18 years old. We had to take 12 hours worth of online training and testing and read 3 books on adoption, which we had to prove we read by writing book reports. We had to prove Kevin was honorably discharged from the service, get employment verifications, have a fire inspection done by our local FD and each complete a 50 page questionnaire which asked incredibly personal questions. Once that was done, we then got to spend several hours being interviewed by a social worker, individually (all 4 of us) and together...and he actually passed us! Having the home study final and approved was like hearing the heartbeat. That's when it began to feel real. Everything had to be notarized along the way and then we had to get everything certified by the state. We have done that on everything except the USCIS approval letter. This is like feeling the baby kick or roll over for the first time. You keep holding your belly (metaphorically) waiting in great anticipation for it to happen again. Along this journey there has been and continues to be A LOT of waiting. So just like in a real pregnancy, during the wait, we find things to fill our time.

The wait is agonizing. In the meantime, we go on with life as usual enjoying the last few months as a family of four. But just like in pregnancy, we have started to prepare for her arrival. We're decorating her room, buying her clothes and imagining what it will be like to finally have her in our arms. Oh, and we picked out a name - Cheyenne Elizabeth!

Intro to the Back Familiy Blog

I created this site to be able to share stories with friends and family. I want to give those who are interested a glimpse into the ups and downs on this road we call life, and maybe add a few laughs along the way. I want to cover anything and everything from living with two crazy boys, to the adoption journey we are on to bring our little girl home to her forever family. I'm not a journalist by any means, but hopefully this site will bring a few moments of enjoyment to all those who read it. Thank you for stopping by.