From 2 to 4 in 19 months because love doesn't divide - it multiplies!

I remember driving in my car one day while I was pregnant with Casey. Nathan was three years old and he was my whole world. I just couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I loved Nathan. There just wasn't enough room in my heart. I vividly remember calling my mother in tears. I was a mess. What had I done? I always wanted two kids but in that moment I just couldn't fathom how it would work. This new little boy just wouldn't be loved as much because I was not willing to divide the love I had for Nathan. Then my mother told me the most profound statement I may have ever heard. She said, "Love doesn't divide...it multiplies! So you always have enough love to go around." And she was right.

Ten years after Casey was born we fell in love with a little girl half way around the world. We spent 9 months preparing document after document to bring her home. We finally welcomed her into our family in March of 2017. While we were mid-way through her paperwork process Kevin started talking to me about adopting two little girls...mind you, this is the same man who didn't want any kids when we first met! I was not even wrapping my head around having a third child (when the kids outnumber the parents, you're in trouble), I certainly couldn't picture having four kids! Then when we were in China to bring Cheyenne home, I feared for my life every time we were in a moving vehicle. So in those moments, I would tell Kevin, "Oh no! we are never doing this again!" (Which for the record I also said after giving birth to Nathan!)

But something happens when you leave China. You get settled into your new "normal" and you start to remember the faces of those you left behind. Then you recall the dire circumstances the children face in China. When you're an orphan and living in an institution, you "age out" on your 14th birthday! 14! And then you are no longer eligible to be adopted and unless you are severely mentally or physically handicapped you are kicked out to the streets. For the girls, this often leads to sex trafficking and/or prostitution. So when you get settled in to your new normal and you start to remember all those faces you left behind, you think, "We have room for one more!"

So here we are...in one more day and a wake up we will be boarding the plane to take another long journey to bring home our "one more". This little girl who we plan to name Faith stole our hearts back in January. The day we meet Faith will be just 19 months and 2 days from the day we met Cheyenne. So that means we have grown from two kids to four in just 19 months!

In trying not to panic, the only words that bring comfort is the reminder from my mom all those years ago...love doesn't divide, it multiplies. 

God Blesses the Broken Road

If we are Facebook Friends and you are a member of my Faith Over Fear page, you probably already know this story. But I know a lot of new friends are now following my blog, so I wanted to recap how we got here.

We decided to add one more little girl to our family pretty much as soon as we brought Cheyenne home. We were originally matched with a beautiful little girl that I found on a China advocacy page. She was 4.5 years old. However, the day after we made the announcement to our families, we got some devastating news...that little girl's medical update came back with new information indicating her needs would grow to be much more than Kevin and I feel adequately able to handle - especially with three other kids to think of. So after learning this information, we made the extremely difficult decision to withdrawal our request to adopt her. Since we are not proceeding with her, I am unable to share any additional information about her. But we do continue to pray that she finds a family.

We were already emotionally attached to that little girl and it took some time for our hearts to feel ready to attach to someone else. However, in reviewing another agency's advocacy page, I saw the beautiful face of our next daughter! This little girl was just about to turn 6 in mid-January. In early January, I inquired about her with the agency that had her file. Initially they blew me off because we hadn't been home a year since Cheyenne's placement. See, China recently changed their rules and require a year from placement before you can even request "pre-approval" on another child. However, the agency that had the first little girl was able to get pre-approval for us, so I knew it could be done. But the new agency was unwilling to try based on how they were interpreting the new rules...

So we went away for a while and looked at a few other files but our hearts and mind kept going back to the little girl at the other agency.

Those of you who know me well know that I can be very persistent when I want something or I feel passionate about something. To me, it wasn't right that they weren't even willing to try to get something that I knew could be done. So my mama bear kicked in and I sent an email to them and begged them to at least try. The worst that could happen is China would say no. I told them if it was a fee they were concerned about, we would pay it but we couldn't just sit by without asking. They made us jump through a few hoops (and a few fees), but ultimately agreed to try!

I am very happy to announce that they submitted our request for pre-approval on Thursday 2/8 and we received the pre-approval from China on 2/9! 24 hour approval is rare, especially when we were expecting push back due to our lack of one year home. But it happened! And this shows us that God was truly leading our hearts to THIS little girl and it is meant to be in all the same ways Cheyenne was meant for us. God blessed the broken road....

We had originally planned to name our next daughter "Noel". We had that name in mind for months at the beginning of this process. But then this summer several things occurred which made us even question whether or not it would be the right decision to continue to grow our family at this time. Kevin was struggling with some medical concerns (thankfully he's better now) and we found out that Cheyenne will likely need to have brain surgery in an attempt to cure her Epilepsy (See separate posts for more on that one). 

Our time and energy was running very thin (as was my emotional stability).  But we had fought for this little girl and she already felt like ours. I kept thinking if I was really pregnant, we certainly wouldn't abort because of all of this. But that's one benefit to adoption, you can always say no right up until you are in country and signing the legal paperwork. Our home was prepared but we had to make sure our hearts were prepared.

We talked about it and prayed about it for a few weeks. Then one Saturday morning, I heard a message loud and clear that said "Fear is what is keeping you from her. Fear is not Holy. You need to have faith over fear. You need to have Faith that God has a plan." In that moment I knew that we had to change her name to Faith. Faith would be a constant reminder to trust in the Lord, even when in doubt. Then later that day I saw this picture while scanning my Facebook feed:

For us, that was the confirmation we needed to proceed. From that day on we started referring to her as Faith and haven't once doubted the decision since then. We know that God has big plans for us and for that little girl and we can't wait to discover what happens next!

Cheyenne Update

We met with the neurologist this morning. He showed us the scans that were done and some the EEG readings that were taken during her stay. He showed us her “normal” EEG readings and what it looked like leading up to and during a seizure. Long story short, our doc believes all of her seizures are originating from the same location way back in the occipital lobe on the left side. Once the seizures started most of them spread into the temporal lobe on the left side but a few spread over to the right side. 

He told us that since there was some spreading to the right side, their team of doctors were split on whether or not she would be a candidate for surgery. However, he believes that all of her seizures have the same origin starting point and if that starting point can be identified and ultimately removed, she would be seizure free because if they don’t start, they won’t spread anywhere. The team agreed but since they don’t yet have a crystal clear indication of where the seizures are starting, the next step is for additional scans and testing called a “stereo EEG or sEEG”. (Note: DO NOT google that unless you have a strong stomach!) Anyway, to do the sEEG, she will be admitted to Children’s for another 7 days. The day she gets there, they will put her under, shave small areas of her hair and drill pretty tiny holes into her skull (16 of them to be exact) and insert long super skinny eeg probes into her brain. She will again be taken off all meds and be having multiple seizures while admitted. The inserted probes will be able to more precisely pinpoint the seizure starting point(s). In addition to the tracking of seizures, they are also able to use the probes to send pulses/stimuli to different parts of her brain in order to do more precise “brain mapping” to identify the critical areas of her brain that control speech, motor, etc. Once they have captured enough seizure activity and performed the brain mapping, she will have the probes surgically removed and the holes will be closed with one single stitch per hole (that’s how small the holes are). The docs will then use all of that new information to determine for sure whether or not she would benefit from surgery.

They were prepared to admit her the Monday after Thanksgiving. However, we decided to push it until after the first of the year. We won’t get home with Faith until 11/9 and we want her to have adequate time to assimilate into our family before having to watch her new sister go through any of that and Kevin’s paid time off bank will reset on 1/1 to allow him to spend more time with Cheyenne during that week.

So for now, we will get the additional scans and other tests (like a vision field test) done while we wait. We are scheduled to meet with the surgeon right before we leave for China so we might get some more information then, but not much.

I’ll continue to keep you posted with any new information. For now, the new dose in medicine seems to be working well so we’ll keep praying she stays seizure free for a long while.

Thanks to everyone for your continued prayers.

Ready to Go Home!

In  a lot of ways  this week has  dragged on, but in a lot of ways I can't believe it is Friday already.

On Wednesday, my last post mentioned attempting to redo the "Ictial" test on Thursday.

Wednesday night I kept Cheyenne up until midnight as instructed. But at midnight she was very ready to go to sleep. This time, I slept in the bed next to her to make sure she was ok and wasn't scared. Fortunately, she slept very well all the way until 6:00am when the nurse came in to wake us.

A little before 7:00 she was sitting up watching Frozen and I was sitting on the chair in the corner checking my emails. All of a sudden she started calling out for Nathan as if he was here or in the next room. When I said "Honey, Nathan's not here" and looked up at her I could tell she was having a small seizure. It was what Kevin and I call a "misfire" but the doctors seem to call it a "mini seizure". It's where she is responsive but isn't really coherent. She will respond to pain stimuli and will speak but it's usually gibberish and when it's not, it is not accurate (like saying my name is Randy or calling for Nathan when she knows he's not here). This only lasted a couple of minutes and then she was back to her normal self. I never thought I would say a seizure was "cute" but as far as seizures can go, I'd say that was the cutest or sweetest I've seen since she was calling out for her big brother.

Even though she can't understand their questions well enough to confirm, the doctors suspect she has what's called an Aura just prior to a seizure. This is something that lets a person know a seizure is about to happen. For some it is seeing a bright light, for some, it's getting dizzy, etc. She doesn't understand well enough to answer their questions appropriately. But if there is an aura and surgery does not turn out to be an option for her, it may make the idea of getting a seizure dog something we consider more seriously. They tell us that the dog can sense the aura and either bark to alert someone nearby or even push a button that would stop the seizure (the button would trigger an electric impulse to the brain).

As I mentioned on Wednesday, they were scheduled to reattempt the Ictial scan yesterday. She had the mini seizure about 7:00. Unfortunately, that was too early and they weren't prepared yet. They came in about 8:50 to start setting up for the test. To set up they have to clean her IV port with a sterile wipe, then flush the IV to ensure it is working properly and then they attach the syringe with the dye to the IV port and tape it down to her arm. They need this done so that they can very quickly inject the dye as soon as a seizure begins.

As they were coming in to prepare, she started freaking out at the idea of them messing with her IV. She is always scared they are going to hurt her or stick her with a needle. As she was in the midst of her freak out, she started having another seizure. This one would have been the perfect one to capture for the test but unfortunately, they hadn't prepped the port yet and it wouldn't have worked if they tried to inject it. So we had to wait.

On Tuesday, we missed the window by 10 minutes! So for this one, I asked them to monitor until 3:00 to give us extra time and they agreed. We sat and waited and played games and waited and watched movies and waited and nothing happened. Around 1:00 we decided to have her take a short nap in hopes that the waking up process would naturally trigger a seizure. We let her sleep for about 45 minutes and then woke her up and waited some more. Once again, nothing happened! At 3:05, we had to call it and the nurse removed the dye and cancelled the scan. And 15 minutes later, Cheyenne had another seizure! Fortunately, it wasn't too bad and only lasted about a minute or two. But to make matters worse, becuase Cheyenne would have had to be sedated if we were able to do the scan, she wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything all day and she asked me many times throughout the day for a drink and a snack and it broke my heart to not be able to give it to her - and then that was all for nothing as it turned out. Oh my gosh, I can't begin to tell you how frustrated I was. I wanted to cry. How is it possible that both days, we missed the time period and on this day missed it by THIS much on BOTH ends of the test. It isn't anyone's fault but man was I ticked.

Shortly after this, the doctors came in and assured me that even though we weren't able to get that one scan, they had a lot of data between the other scans and EEG seizure readings. We are all hopeful they have enough data to make a clear decision regarding next steps.

The remainder of the day and night was uneventful. Cheyenne got visited by her aunt and uncle and slept well last night. She was given once dose of meds last night and another this morning. She ate well at breakfast and the doc has cleared her for discharge.

Please continue to pray as we wait for them to review and analyze all the information. They will call us in a few weeks to set up an appointment to get the results and determine next steps.

FIVE MINUTES

Have you ever stopped to think about the significance of small timeframes...like five minutes? In most cases, five minutes is not a huge deal. If you show up someplace five minutes late, it's usually pretty forgivable. If someone is five minutes early to your house gathering, it's usually an aceptable surprize. But in the land of seizures, specifically Cheyenne seizures, five minutes is a HUGE deal. Five minutes is the critical point for when a "rescue med" must be given to stop the seizure.

When we are with Cheyenne at home, we have to always have a Diastat injection available. Diastat is Cheyenne's rescue medication. We have one at home, one at day care, one at school and I carry one in my purse whereever we go with Cheyenne. It's very similar to an Epipen for allergic reactions with one big difference - it has to be administered rectally. Yep, it's a suppository! Honestly, at first I was horrified at the idea of explaining it to the daycare staff and school teachers, but fortunately this is a common practice and noone was surprised or mortified - except me. :) Fortunately, we have never had to admisiter a rescue med and fortunately, here in the hospital, any rescue medication needed is given through her IV.

Cheyenne has what are called "absence" seizures. To an outsider, you wouldn't even know she was having one. In fact, you would probably think she was just being disobdient. She stares off, even if you make eye contact with her you can tell she isn't really making contact with you. She doesn't respond to questions, or if she does it's through gibberish words, and she doesn't respond to any type of pain stimuli (like slapping her hand or pinching her forearm). And fun fact - some nine year old kids stare off to otter space for no reason! So when we notice something, we have a standard procedure where we call her name, then blow on her face, then slap her hand (doctor's orders). When she doesn't respond to any of those, it is a seizure. She has been on meds since we discovered this in July of last year, so those are the only behaviors we have experienced. That's why we believe they were not discovered in China. It's also possible she was not experiencing seizures regularly in China because the neurologist told us they often don't start until a child is between the ages of 7-10.

Monday night, I was publishing my last post while we were staying up until midnight. I was instructed to keep her up until midnight and to wake her up at 6:00 in hopes that a seizure would occur on Tuesday. So I'll give you the update from where we left off...

Monday night was a rough, rough night. I got Cheyenne tucked in around 12:15am after she finished her Paw Patrol movie. Then I settled in for what I had hoped would be at least 4 hours of restful sleep. I knew Cheyenne and I were both exhausted because neither one of us slept Sunday night due to nervousness about her stay this week.

The never ending night started about 45 minutes later when Cheyenne woke me up to go potty. She needs someone to take her to 1) ensure she doesn't fall. She is considered a fall risk because of her medications being withdrawn 2) to make sure she doesn't have a seizure and 3) becuase she is literally tethered to a computer in the room. Since she is being monitored by the EEG readings around the clock, her EEGs LEDS are connected to a small box that is connected by a super long wire which is connected to a computer attached to the wall. This long wire is enough to move around the room and bathroom but it is JUST long enough to reach the toilet in the bathroom.

So I took her to the bathroom, and tucked back in bed. Then about an hour later, she needed to go potty again. So the process is repeated...except this time, when I went to get her back in the bed, she started having a seizure. If a seizure occurs we were instructed to push a two button clicker as soon as possible. One button alerts the nurses and the other notes the time and date on the EEG reading for later reference. I pushed the buttons and right away two nurses came hauling ass into her room. By this time, Cheyenne is twitiching the whole right side of her face, which is new. Then her right foot starts to twitch badly (also new). She wasn't responding to anything we were saying or doing and at one point she was so still it was hard to tell if she was even breathing. She went completely stiff with arms and legs fully extended and straight like a board...then she started convulsing (all so new). This was all so scary to watch. At one point the nurse put a pulse/ox on her and her oxygen was down to about 75% so she had to give her oxygen. At one point, Cheyenne seemed as if she was trying to push the oxygen away, but the EEG tech who was standing between our door and the EEG monitoring room shouted that she was still in it. Since a rescue med is to be given after 5 minutes one nurse went running off to get the rescue. The EEG tech kept hovering between our two rooms and shouting the time lapse...by time the nurse got the med and admistered it, the seizure was about six minutes from the time I pushed the button. We found out from the doctor yesterday that the seizure lasted in totality about NINE minutes.  So it took about two minutes or so to stop the seizure once the med was given.

Once the rescue med is given, it slows the brain down so much that the child typically sleeps for hours afterwards. The nurse told me I should get some sleep - yeah right! I was scared and coming down off of the adrenaline rush and scared and emotionally exhausted and did I mention scared? I sat in the chair and watched her sleep and cried silent tears for about 15 minutes. Then I sent Kev a text to call me when he wakes up and then I attempted to sleep...for about 20 minutes until Cheyenne woke up and yet again needed to go potty.

I helped her to the potty and back and then she started vomiting. After she vomited, she would try to sleep for about 15 minute, then sit up and seem like she was going to vomit again, but didn't, until about 4:30 when she did vomit again too fast for me to grab the bucket, so she got it all over herself and the bed. The nurses came in to change the bedding while I changed Chey. This went on until close to 5:00am. Then she was finally worn out enough to sleep. So then we both slept until the nurse came in at 6:00 to wake her.

The testing that she was to do yesterday and tomorrow are the same scans. The difference between the two is that one is supposed to be done with dye injected during a seizure just before the scan and the other is supposed to be without a seizure occurring with dye. Then the doctors compare the two scans and the dyed areas to see the different areas that are impacted. Yesterday, the plan was to get the scan WITH the seizure. Around 9:30 the nurse came in to prep her IV with the special dye that has to be injected within 20 seconds of a seizure starting. Then we all just sat and played games and watched TV and waited for a seizure to occur. Her scan was scheduled for no later than 3:30. The dye was to be injected within the 20 seconds of a seizure and had to be injected by 2:30 at the latest because the scan required it either way and it takes time to do its thing before the scan. We waited and waited and 2:30 came without a seizure. The nurse injected the dye and left the room. Then about 20 minutes later, the seizure came...but unfortunately it was too far after the injection to perform the test they wanted to do. Instead they did the scan without the seizure and we will try again tomorrow to get the scan with a seizure. So tonight we are back to staying up late and getting her up early again tomorrow.

Last night we both slept well and today she has been doing well. She has had several seizures but they weren't too bad. She had a "PET" scan this morning. She did great with it.

Overall, she's in good spirits. Keep praying and pray specifically that she has a seizure tomorrow between 10:00am - 2:00pm.

Praying for a Seizure

Many people don't know this, but China now only adopts children with special needs. So when we made the decision to adopt from China about two years ago, we were asked to complete a Medical Checklist. This checklist is a list of all possible diseases, syndromes or ailments a child may have when adopted from China. We met with our pediatrician and learned as much as we could about each item on the list and checked "yes" or "no" next to each item. On one hand, this felt so wrong because with birth children, you don't get to say "no" if they happen to be born with a chronic illness or disease. It also felt wrong because some of the children overseas may be so ill, they won't live long enough to be adopted unless someone says "yes" to them. But on the other hand, adoptive parents have to know their limits. And in our case, we had other children in the home to consider. Adopting children from hard places has a lot of trials and tribulations without taking on more than you feel equipped to handle. All agencies make this very clear as you go through the long adoption journey. They also make it very clear that while you will not get matched with a child unless they meet the criteria you've outlined on the medical checklist, it is impossible to completely know an orphan's medical history. Additionally, China does not have access to the same level of medical testing we have in the States. Therefore, it is possible and very likely that you will adopt a child with an undiagnosed or undisclosed illness...for us with Cheyenne, this was Epilepsy.

When reviewing the medical checklist, we marked "no" to Epilepsy. We were only aware of the Grand mal seizures that Epilepsy can cause. We were not aware of other types of seizures. Our pediatrician explained that children with Epilepsy tend to have cognitive delays and cannot grow up to drive a car or live independently unless they are seizure free for at least six months. We were accepting to many ailments but ultimately we wanted something "correctible" with therapy or surgery or something "minor" enough to still allow the child to grow up to live independently some day. As much as we love and absolutely adore Cheyenne, if we're being honest, we would tell you that if her file had listed Epilepsy, we would not have proceeded with her adoption. So believe me when I say that it was a true blessing that the file was inaccurate.

When we saw Cheyenne's file, the special needs listed were, "developmental delay" and "Cerebral Palsy". Her file also mentioned that she was allergic to chocolate (but my girl can eat her weight in chocolate with no issues). Upon reading her file and reviewing the multiple pictures and videos they included with the file, we determined (with the help of an International Adoption Physician), that if there really was CP, it was incredibly minor and based on the video, she didn't seem that developmentally delayed compared to her institionalized peers. There was no mention of Epilepsy and no indication of seizures, except for a "Febrile" seizure coupled with a high fever which was dicovered to be a UTI that occurred when she was three years old. When discussing this with Dr. Staat, we learned that many children have a Febrile seizure when they experience high fever. And since the file specifically said there was no seizure activity since then, we all believed it was benign. Everything we examined assured us she would grow to be a healthy and happy young woman.

We met Cheyenne in March of 2017. In late June of 2017 I watched her first seizure. It was so bizarre. I was dropping her off at daycare. She walked away from me without saying good-bye (which was very unusual for her). She started staring up towards the ceiling and rotating in a slow circle while pulling her legs up like a newborn colt learning to walk. When I walked over to her, I made eye contact with her but could tell she was not really making true eye contact with me. She was not responding to anything I was saying or doing. This went on for about two minutes or so and then she finally reconnected with me and yawned and said "Bye Mommy" and hugged me as if nothing happened. Since I had only been aware of Grand mal seizures, it didn't even dawn on me that she was having a seizure. Turns out this was the first of many "absence" seizures she would have.

The second time was much worse. About a month later, we got a call from daycare that no parent wants to get. Cheyenne had what they believed to be a seizure and was being transported by ambulance to Children's hospital. Apparently she appeared to be sleeping at the table but when they went to wake her, she was foaming at the mouth and non-responsive. They cleared the room and started their seizure protocol which included checking for vitals. They said she was breathing so shallowly that they weren't sure if she was even breathing and the director sent another teacher to get the defibrillator paddles. Fortunately, by time she returned with the paddles, Cheyenne was responding enough to avoid having to use them. The ER referred us to neurology. Neurology diagnosed her with Epilepsy and changed our lives.

The first thing Neuro did was order an EEG and an MRI. The EEG was fairly normal but the MRI showed a "lesion" of some kind that the doctor wasn't sure if it was a growing tumor or old scar tissue from a precious injury. The only way to know was to "wait and see". We had to wait three months and then redo the MRI for a comparison. Fortunately the comparison showed no changes (indicating an old injury) but that time was absolutely the longest three months of our lives!

The past year has been spent playing with various medications to attempt to find the right "cocktail". The first med made her crazy mean (like putting a boy in a choke hold on the playground at school for no reason). The next med actually increased her seizures. One couldn't be given until we had genetic testing done (which took months) and one could only be given for a short amount of time because it is very dangerous for girls to start menstruating and eventually get pregnant on it...and the best part, none of these meds (or multiple combinations of them) stopped her seizures.

After a year plus of medication failures, the regular neurology team referred us to the neuro surgery team. We met with neurosurgery about a month ago. The doctor was very thorough and showed us the actual MRI scans and explained what it actually showed was a brain malformation on her left side that was likely caused by a stroke in-utero or at a very early age. He explained that due to the brain injury and medication failures, we only had a 1 - 3% chance of medication ever fully controlling her seizures. Therefore, he recommended being evaluated for brain surgery. He said that if she is a candidate for surgery, there is at least a 50 - 70% chance that she could be completely cured of seizures.

So here we sit at Children's hospital where Cheyenne was admitted this morning for five full days of video/audio EEG monitoring, tests and scans. She's already had multiple other MRIs done including one that told them where all of her cognitive and motor sensors are in her brain. This week they will perform several different tests including one tomorrow where we are actually praying that she has a seizure. If she does have a seizure, they will be able to inject a special dye which will allow them to see all of the brain waves impacted by the seizure. We've removed all of her medication in preparation and they have me keeping her awake until midnight and getting her up at six to purposely deprive her of sleep in hopes to trigger a seizure.

Can you imagine actually wishing for your child to have a seizure? It is so counterintuitive. I mean the last time she had one without medication landed her in the ER and had people believing she was near death. But ultimately, this is what it takes to determine if we will be able to cure her completely. I have to keep telling myself that she is in a safe place. Our children's hospital was just voted #2 in the country which really means they are #2 in the WORLD. At the end of the day, we have to trust that these are the true experts and we all have her very best interest at heart. The goal is to see the seizure in action and determine exactly what happens in her little brain before, during and after a seizure. They will then compare that data with the brain mapping done through the various other tests to ensure that operating would not cause any detriment to her motor or cognitive abilities.

So, as odd as it seems, I'm asking all who are reading this in the next 24-48 hours to please pray for a seizure. Please pray for guidance and clarity for the medical staff involved in evaluating her results and pray for guidance and clarity in the decision we may need to make in the upcoming weeks.

Six Months Already!

Can you believe today marks 6 MONTHS since we walked into that Civil Affairs building halfway around the world and opened our arms and our hearts to our beautiful new daughter?

When we brought Cheyenne home, "Hello" and "Thank you" were about the only English words she knew. Of course Kevin taught himself how to speak Mandarin so he could easily communicate with her. Me on the other hand - not so much! I remember the first week or two, any time I tried to help her with something she wanted to do, she would shout out what sounded like obscenities at me. Eventually I figured out that she was telling me she wanted to do it. So I taught her to calmly say, "I can do it." After just a reminder or two, she caught on.

Originally, I was planning to take three or four weeks off of work to stay home with her. But surprisingly, since she saw the boys going to school and back, she kept asking when she could go to school. While we didn't really see the point in sending her for just a few weeks, we couldn't come up with a good reason not to allow her to go. So we registered her for before and after school daycare and placed her into the First Grade. Even though she still didn't understand much English, she did really well. Her teacher told us that she followed directions well and when the other kiddos were writing in their journals, she would "write" (AKA draw/scribble) in her notebook too.

When we started the adoption process, we knew it would only be a matter of time before we moved into a better and more diverse school district. I'm pretty sure Cheyenne was the ONLY Asian in our school. We weren't planning to move for at least a year but we had friends who were selling their house in Mason, which is the 11th school district in the Nation! Their Asian population is around 22% and their academic curriculum is outstanding.  Our friends gave us a tour of their house and we knew it would be perfect for our family. We wanted to be in before the new school year started so we quickly worked on selling our house. We were fortunate enough to sell our house in time to move in two weeks before the school year began. The boys were a little sad to leave their small, Christian school, but overall they were agreeable and excited to move into the "big house" in a real cul de sac street.

Our new house is beautiful and has room enough for everyone to spread out. We even have an extra bedroom in case our family continues to grow...  ;-)

There is a house next door with three boys all close in age to our boys. They've already become fast friends. The schools and the staff have been great and you can tell they truly care about their students.

While most of it has been great, we've had some several challenges along the way too. Cheyenne was given virtually a clean bill of heath from the International Adoption Clinic (IAC). They actually removed both diagnoses China had in her file. They also feel confident that she was NOT sexually abused in the orphanage (which was a huge relief for us). Unfortunately, we have learned that she was frequently physically abused. The specific details are her story to tell, but we are working hard to get her to trust that we will never hit or harm her in any way.

As if Cheyenne's trauma wasn't enough to deal with, there was a point this summer where I was sure I wasn't going to win the Mother of the Year Award. Nathan had been telling me for weeks (maybe even months) that his toe was hurting. When I finally saw it, it was beat red, swollen and warm to the touch. I knew he had a serious infected ingrown toenail. When I took him to see the foot doctor, she had to do an X-ray to determine if the infection was deep enough to go into the bone. It looked as if it might be. She removed the ingrown nail and prescribed some serious antibiotics. She told me if it wasn't healed in three weeks, we'd have to do an MRI and potentially do surgery in order to get it cured. I felt SO bad! I remember holding it together long enough to drive home but going upstairs and crying as soon as we got there. I was so focused on one child, I felt as if I had neglected another. Kevin did his best to convince me that Nathan has two parents and it was just as much his "fault" as it was mine. But as his mother I felt like it's my job to be the nurturer. Fortunately, the toe healed up pretty well and the MRI and surgery was not needed.

It's been so neat watching Casey grow into his new role of being the big brother. Both boys love Cheyenne. Nathan gets easily annoyed with her but still is very helpful and protective over her. Casey is closer in age, so naturally he is more willing to play with her...although she hasn't convinced him to play Barbies with her - yet. :)

As I reflect back on the past six months, it is almost overwhelming. Cheyenne is doing so great adjusting to life here with us. Now, she speaks only English and while her grammar is still developing, even strangers can understand her. She's doing great in second grade and her teacher even sent me a video via text of her reading her first little sight word book to her whole class. In some ways if you didn't know any better, you would think she's been here in the US and with us her whole life. Strangers are always amazed when they learn she's only been part of our family for a few short months. I've even had people tell me that she looks "just like" me and could be my "real daughter" (to which I usually say "She is my real daughter").

She is so incredibly affectionate. She is still dealing with the prior trauma but she has already come leaps and bounds from where she started. I can't imagine ever going through everything she's already had to experience in her short 8 years of life. She is so brave. She is so happy. So far she seems to be completely blocking out all of China. We think this is her way of dealing with the previous abuse/trauma she went through. Even when we show her pictures of herself in China and say something like "Where were you in this picture?" she will always say "'Merica". When we try to get her to tell us about her orphanage or experiences she had there (good or bad) she won't discuss it. There was one time we got her to tell us that she slept on the third floor and ate on the second. But when we tried to get the conversation to go any deeper than that, she completely shut down and stopped talking. I'm sure in time she will feel more comfortable and safe telling us about it. When she's ready to talk, we'll be ready to listen and to dry tears if necessary. But until then we will keep showing her what it means to be a family and make sure she knows every day how loved she is and how lucky we are to have her in our family.

Here's a look at the last six months.

First Easter

First trip to Kings Island

1 month

First day of school (1st grade)

First family photo as a family of 5

Two months (just had her ears pierced)

Big brother Casey reading her a bedtime story.

New House

Sleeping on big brother Nathan

Father's Day

3 months

Cheyenne does NOT like olives!

Fourth of July

Seeing the city skyline

Four months

First Bengals game

First day in the new school

Five months

Six Months!