Let's talk about pregnancy for a minute. After all, this is a family blog and pregnancy is how all families begin, right? You might be thinking that not ALL families start that way, because some people adopt. Having given birth and now waist deep in the adoption process, I can tell you, there's a reason they refer to adoption as being "paper pregnant". There are a lot of similarities.
With our biological pregnancies, the clock started when the stick turned blue. In a normal pregnancy, there are three trimesters, spread over 9 months with several milestones along the way. In our case, we longed to be pregnant (both times), so as soon as it was confirmed by my doctor, I started imagining what he was going to be like, to look like, smell like, etc. I couldn't wait to get him in my hands. We started buying clothes, buying diapers, and preparing a room for him. As each pregnancy progressed, I felt flutters, heard his first heartbeat, and felt his first kick, his first roll over and of course the long awaited birth. Then the fun really started. We got to hold him, smell him and rock him to sleep at night. In between each of those milestones there was A LOT of waiting.
With our adoption, while it started essentially in reverse (we saw her face before doing anything else), it has been very similar. But let's back up to how we got here.
We had been discussing the possibility of adoption for a long time, probably about a year - off and on. Whenever it would come up, we would think about how nice it would be to provide a home to a child in need and then that was countered by how busy our schedule is, especially given my travel schedule at work. Then the tides started to change. I decided to take a step back at work to a position that didn't require so much travel. It was interfering with the time and attention I was giving to our two wonderful sons. Then, once things got back to normal, the subject came up again. This time my work schedule wasn't an issue, so the conversation went further than it ever had before. This led to researching the various types of adoption. A friend told me about her recent experience with her China adoption. It was as if God had this conversation occur at the perfect time. After hearing what the orphans in China go through, I felt a calling to do something. After discussing with Kev, we decided to do some more digging. This led to reviewing waiting child profiles and then it happened! We saw HER face. The moment I saw her, I knew we had to bring her home. We filled out the application and placed her "on hold" (the equivalent of the stick turning blue). Then we started the long paperwork journey. The paperwork process is like the three trimesters of pregnancy because it has three very distinct segments: the home study, the certification and authentication and the travel approval. This is followed by the travel to China and a two week stay that makes her our legal child - the long awaited "birth".
At this point, we are halfway through the second "trimester". We are waiting on the approval of the US Government. Once we have that, we can complete the certification process and move onto the authentication process. Once that is done, all the paperwork will be sent to China for the final approval. Upon their review, they will issue us what's called a Travel Approval letter. That begins the third and final trimester.
Just like in a biological pregnancy, this "paper pregnancy" has had several milestones. The pre-approval letter from China, which locked her in with us was the equivalent to the doctor confirming the pregnancy. Then we had to gather everything for our home study...and I mean EVERYTHING. The home study basically puts your whole life on paper in a 12 - 15 page summary. We all four had to get physicals, we had to get new certified copies of all birth certificates and of our marriage license. We had to complete a form detailing every aspect of our financial worth. We had to get at least 10 references including our sons' teachers and principal. We had to get a background check from the county, state and FBI as well as a child abuse check for every state we've both lived in since we were 18 years old. We had to take 12 hours worth of online training and testing and read 3 books on adoption, which we had to prove we read by writing book reports. We had to prove Kevin was honorably discharged from the service, get employment verifications, have a fire inspection done by our local FD and each complete a 50 page questionnaire which asked
incredibly personal questions. Once that was done, we then got to spend several hours being interviewed by a social worker, individually (all 4 of us) and together...and he actually passed us! Having the home study final and approved was like hearing the heartbeat. That's when it began to feel real. Everything had to be notarized along the way and then we had to get everything certified by the state. We have done that on everything except the USCIS approval letter. This is like feeling the baby kick or roll over for the first time. You keep holding your belly (metaphorically) waiting in great anticipation for it to happen again. Along this journey there has been and continues to be
A LOT of waiting. So just like in a real pregnancy, during the wait, we find things to fill our time.
The wait is agonizing. In the meantime, we go on with life as usual enjoying the last few months as a family of four. But just like in pregnancy, we have started to prepare for her arrival. We're decorating her room, buying her clothes and imagining what it will be like to finally have her in our arms. Oh, and we picked out a name -
Cheyenne Elizabeth!
